Poetry of the week – limericks
| August 22, 2011 | Posted by Georgie Tindale under poetry |
There once were some Quakers from Ealing
Who didn’t find riots appealing
They countered the violence
With periods of silence
Much better than looting or stealing
By Jamie Green
There once was a lizard called Sprite
Whose skin was all shiny and white
They said “How’d you do it?”
He said, “I shampoo it,
and blow dry it till it’s just right!”
By Ellie Brierley
There once was a man from Vancouver
Who wanted to marry a hoover
On his wedding night
He was in for a fright
“Cor blimey! She clean blew me o-over!”
By Georgie Tindale
There once was a man from Japan
Whose limericks just wouldn’t scan
When his friends told him so,
He replied, “Yes I know,
But I always try to fit as many words into the last line as I possibly… can”
Courtesy of Will Taylor
There once was a chef from Surrey
Who was always in rather a hurry
His freshly made pasta
Was a total disaster
And his bolognaise tasted like curry
By Jamie Green
There once was a man from Darjeeling
Who travelled from Acton to Ealing
It said on the door
“Don’t spit on the floor”
So he carefully spat on the ceiling
Courtesy of Kitty Acton
Alone in her house in North West
A lady was nought but depressed
So grabbing possesions
With greatest discretion
Shoved lolly sticks straight through her chest
By Georgie Tindale
There once was a man from Nepal
Who went to a fancy dress ball
He decided to risk it-
And go as a biscuit
But a dog ate him up in the hall
Courtesy of Will Taylor
There once was a girl from Tottenham
Who had no manners, or else she’d forgotten ‘em
At at tea at the vicars
She whipped off her knickers
Explaining she was too “hot in ‘em”
Courtesy of Kitty Acton
A bloke tried to drive to the station
Using satellite navigation
He drove in the river
And said with a shiver
“It must have been somewhat mistaken”
By Jamie Green
A final word from Katie Maloney
Limericks are hard to do
The rhyming isn’t easy it’s true
You try and you try
And eventually sigh
“I really just don’t have a clue”
And then you decide
No matter how hard you’ve tried
That although it’s a muddle
And you’ll get into trouble
That you’ll just run off and hide
Each week The Student Review publishes a collection of poems about a particular topic or theme. For this week’s theme, or to submit a poem, go here.
I loved these! Maybe a reapeat title one week…?
Sure, nice to talk to you stranger.