Featured poet: Daniel Campbell
| April 18, 2012 | Posted by Georgie Tindale under poetry |
Daniel Niall Campbell landed naked on Earth on February 12, 1991, pretty much like Terminator, if you’ve seen it. He went into a bar full of bikers, took some clothes and a motorcycle, forgot completely about his mission of killing John Connor, and has been residing in the East Midlands ever since. He likes collecting guitars, illustration books and those little cardboard things at Debenhams that you spray perfume onto, because the designs are always really interesting. He loves whiskey, home brewed beer and making people happy. The only thing he hates in the world is tuna. If you were to offer him tuna he would fight you, and he does not fight clean. He once made a sock monkey, which made him think that he could become a world renown poet, so he learnt to spell, bought a shiny Apple Mac computer, and set to work changing lives with his rhymes of wisdom.
Riot
The great riot of London town
Inspired by a shooting
Some were angry, burnt stuff down
Most just went out looting
The shops got rinsed of all the goods
Plain sight and daylight too
Police looked on and there they stood
Not knowing what to do
How do you stop a riot when
The nation’s watching live
Just fill the place with armoured men
And hope more will arrive
The theft was bad but not worse than
the fires lit through the night
A Greggs, a car, an armoured van
And even CarpetRight
Got gutted in a violent rage
They blame politics and wealth
Or lack thereof a decent wage
Poor economical health
Recession raises tension
Of race and social class
You can’t survive on pension
When it’s all up Cameron’s ass
But saying that he kindly flew
Back from his holiday
Even Boris Johnson too
Cos they were both away
A song and dance was made of it
The cobras were about
The difference made – not a bit
Day five it fizzled out
Lives were lost and lessons learnt
Thank god it stopped for good
Before more people’s homes got burnt
And any more spilled blood
A crowd can be a viscous beast
You lose your self and mind
Until police dogs are released
And tear gas makes you blind
The moral of this little rhyme
Is really a no brainer
The best way to avoid doing time
Don’t start looting trainers
It might seem like a good idea
When everything’s being kicked
But CCTV sees you clear
And you’ll end up getting nicked
Farewell for now and heed my words
The thieving all stops here
I don’t care how many “truths” you heard
You can’t change the country with fear
Halls Hell
A whimsical tale of cider and ale with milk gone off and bread gone stale
Packed up and eager, off I went
to the heavenly hell of Nottingham Trent
the Uni the heaven, the halls the hell
walk in the doorway, what is that smell?
Halls are like houses just dirty with junk
where people don’t study, just sleep and get drunk
but if you do graphics, then you know of course
9:30 is ‘orrible when you’ve been on the sauce
the Uni, the staff and the course are all fair
but don’t for one second doubt that I care
because Nottingham Trent isn’t Uni, it’s home
just don’t leave the flat after dark if alone
cos the folk who go roaming those parts after night
aren’t the kind to be kind but the kind who will bite
I’m making outside to be vile and unsafe
it’s not bad, just be careful and stay with a mate
because muggings do happen, police have to come
and it ruins your night, and makes you feel dumb
so put your damn iPhone away, use your head
you’ll enjoy your night out and you’ll keep it instead
one morning at 8 I walk out of my room
to the kitchen, which is empty I assume
to find two flat mates sitting ready
the kettle on the side, boiling steady
I tell them I’m proud of them, though they look dead
turns out they haven’t bloody been to bed
“Dan we tried to make it awake through the night
but we got tired and discovered, to our delight
the cocaine we still had from the night before
so we took a little, then we took a bit more
this was at five, now it is eight
and we both feel really wide awake”
but I sent them to bed, they reluctantly went
bitter on the money both of them spent
for cocaine is a novelty for some, but a must
for others, I’m just glad that I am not fussed
for I like my whiskey, my port and my beer
but no class A substance could even come near
that’s enough anti-drug ranting for now
let’s try to find upsides to halls somehow
for it makes you appreciate small things in life
like clean dishes, clean spoon, a fork and a knife
pound coins are like gold dust, a very rare find
a fivers a treat, and a tenners divine
buying your own food makes you realise in time
the value of money, and living in grime
for living in halls is in a way bad
and in a way good cos it makes you glad
that halls is for first years, next year is a house
fast internet, clean kitchen without the mouse
that’s right a mouse, or should I say rat
don’t worry, a guy came and got rid of that
or at least we hope, well we’ve heard no more noise
except for the fire alarm, god that annoys
the hell out of all us, just when its late
welcome to halls
best of luck mate
More of Dan’s work can be found on his blog.
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