TSSR EXCLUSIVE: Council Proclaims Comrade Gohardani as Glorious Leader
| April 1, 2012 | Posted by E. Hitchon under features |
Following the defection of comrade Davies, the Party Council has unanimously proclaimed Comrade Gohardani as Glorious Leader. In an extraordinary meeting of Party officials tonight, Comrade Gohardani has been officially declared Glorious Leader. Party officials have released documents showing Comrade Gohardani’s tireless efforts to maintain order within the party over the past three months. It appears from these documents that as the Council became aware of traitor Davies’ increasingly desperate attempts to dismantle the politburo from within, Glorious Leader Gohardani took an increasingly strong role resisting the forces of capitalism and greed. It is believed that his actions have not only saved TSSR, but also increased our readership by 400% with an increase in productivity of 100%; as he works… more
TSSR EXCLUSIVE: Exposed Traitor Flees
| April 1, 2012 | Posted by E. Hitchon under features |
Former comrade and ex-Glorious Leader Davies has defected. It is believed he made contact with agents of a capitalist publication at a conference in the last year. It has been revealed to this publication by Party officials that the traitor had been under surveillance by the ARF for a number of months. It is believed that another traitor alerted Davies of his imminent arrest prior to his defection at last week’s Guardian Open Weekend. The People’s Council advise comrades to remain watchful of foreign agents and the enemy within. Party spokesmen have indicated that the Council had expected such action, and plans are in place to ensure our society remains intact and free from the vices of the capitalist ideal.… more
Knovelties and knick-knacks
| March 18, 2012 | Posted by E. Hitchon under reviews |
So, I’m back. It’s been a while; basically I got distracted about halfway through the last however many articles I’ve oh look it’s dark outside! Ha! Made you look… Oh, it is dark? You get the point. So rather than trying to apply myself to write an entire article on one subject, I’m instead going to try and review all the items I’ve diligently marked as “Knovelties and knick-knacks” in my student budget. Rien à déclarer First out of the blocks is a film; three words, first word: “Non, je ne regrette BLANK”. Second word: the indefinite article. Third word… Sod it, the film is Rien à déclarer, a French film, in French, and it’s from French France. Cast: Benoît Poelvoorde,… more
Car review: Triumph 1300 vs modern rubbish
| May 2, 2011 | Posted by E. Hitchon under lifestyle, reviews |
With styling from Michelotti and every modern convenience as standard the Triumph 1300 really is a lovely little car. Taking clear (and specified) inspiration from the larger 2000, the modern looks on this small, front wheel drive, four door saloon give it a clear edge over the competition, namely the BMC 1300… Or so the reviews read a little over 40 years ago. Dubbed “The car with built-in everything”, its forward thinking design (although not its front wheel drive) continued to influence its marque until 1980 and the discontinuation of the Dolomite. How then does it compare with what you, the modern reader, are driving? Well, I learnt in a Fiesta, so for the duration of this review I shall… more
The 127 Hours Bill
| February 8, 2011 | Posted by E. Hitchon under reviews, satire |
Film information: Cast: Lord James Franco, Barroness Amber Tamblyn, Lady Kate Mara, Barroness Clémence Poésy Director: Danny Alexander (Member of Parliament for Inverness, Nairnspotting, Badenoch and Strathsdog Millionaire) Running Time: 127 hours Plot: Barron Ralston (Franco) is a committed cross-bench peer. Whilst debating an electoral reform bill, disaster strikes when a sleeping Lord Levy crushes his arm, leaving him trapped in the debating chamber. In the following five days Ralston assesses his life and various pieces of legislation, plays chess and debates the issue at hand (the one that isn’t being crushed) before discovering he has the courage and mental strength to amputate Lord Levy. Review: Alexander’s film, based on Ralston’s autobiography Between Lord Butler of Brockwell and a Hard… more
Ed vs Blue: education
| February 7, 2011 | Posted by E. Hitchon under national |
My former school, Archbishop Holgate’s, like all “outstanding” schools, has recently been “invited” to join the new Academy Schools system set up by the wonderful Michael Gove. What an offer he puts forward, more funding and more freedom, freedom from a constricting curriculum, incidentally introduced by the blue team last time round. Excellent! The academy status will allow more money to be diverted to Archbishop’s and other similar schools; this is without a doubt a good thing for the pupils of these schools. Unfortunately education funding is finite; you can’t give to one without taking from another. Archbishop’s is an outstanding school thanks to the hard work and dedication of staff, and a “good,” mostly middle class, catchment area. By… more
