Bloodstock Open Air 2012: The review
| August 17, 2012 | Posted by Joe Towse under culture, reviews |
A terrible group rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody accompanies the shuttle bus transfer from Lichfield to Catton Hall. My hand is numb and my fingers are practically lacerated from carrying a poor plastic bag filled with food and beer from the local Tesco. I need to piss. But there is nothing which can detract from the fact that in a few minutes’ time we will be arriving at the 2012 edition of Bloodstock Open Air. 90 minutes later the tents are up, the first beer is consumed, and we head over to the arena, which should be opening. It’s very hot. The gates open, and the carnage duly begins. We start with a brief look around the stalls – at first, CDs… more
How the internet differs from real life
| June 21, 2012 | Posted by Joe Towse under satire |
Aside from the difference that one is on a computer and full of spam and the other is on Blackpool Pier and full of spam, which hopefully the reader noticed, there are several important differences between the internet and real life that one could do to know before venturing outside their hovel into the sun. In other words, this is a guide to surviving in the real world for internet trolls: Tell it until it’s funny There’s a small phenomenon on the internet called the meme. Now, I’m not sure if I’m alone in believing this (in fact I’m sure that I am far from the only one), but if a joke wasn’t funny the first time, it’s probably not going to be… more
How to extend your e-penis: a practical guide
| May 3, 2012 | Posted by Joe Towse under satire |
So, you’ve just realised that being an idiot on the internet is fun and entirely without repercussions, but you want to improve your ability to do so. Well, here at The Student Review, you’re fortunate that we all have 12-inch e-cocks – so we can tell you how! We’ve assigned our most knowledgeable experts on the subject to research it heavily, and we found the optimal way to piss people off. What’s more, we managed to convert our complex algorithm into a simple five-step text form. And so we commence: Use some basic common sense Ever wondered why Anonymous is called just that? If you have, and you spent more than three seconds (being generous there) on it, you’re stupid.… more
The top 50 metal releases of 2011
| January 4, 2012 | Posted by Joe Towse under entertainment, reviews |
So here we have it, the fabled end of year list. Don’t read too much into the order – whilst in general the higher up the list the better the album is, it isn’t so precise that two albums next to each other couldn’t happily be swapped around. Also, note that this was originally posted at my personal blog, so if there is anything which doesn’t make contextual sense, ignore it. Disagree? Comment. 50) Wolves In The Throne Room Celestial Lineage [Southern Lord Recordings] As it turns out, this is the final release from the band who have essentially epitomized ‘atmospheric’ or ‘hipster’ black metal over the last few years, depending on which way you look at it. Appropriately, it… more
Damnation Festival 2011: The review
| November 15, 2011 | Posted by Joe Towse under entertainment |
The seventh year of Damnation Festival, held at Leeds University’s Student Union, is set to be a good one; aside from the sister festival Deathfest, this is only my second Damnation, but it’s been running since 2005. Some last-minute news the night before let us know that Decapitated had had a plane crash and had been forced to cancel, but the lineup remained excellent nevertheless – plus, they clashed with Godflesh, so nobody would’ve seen them anyway! After a calm bus trip got us there about three hours early, we had time to kill, and so popped into a record shop in Leeds (I can’t remember the name). The original plan was to go to Hellraiser, but the shop appeared… more
Musical gems, part 3
| August 23, 2011 | Posted by Joe Towse under culture, reviews |
Since the last post, I’ve changed the name, as I found the use of the term “underground” music somewhat limiting. This will allow me to spread across more genres, as I have only skimmed the surface of many. Anyway, here goes: Miles Davis – Kind Of Blue [1959] Freddie Freeloader Although debate will always exist as to which is the best album from this jazz/blues/hip-hop master (who also expanded at times into funk and progressive rock), this is widely regarded as the one above all the rest, a view that I agree with. A long, largely improvised (or so I believe) jazz manifesto based around several catchy motifs, this is pretty spectacular, and quite possibly the singular best album… more
Gems from the music underground: Part II
| July 20, 2011 | Posted by Joe Towse under culture, reviews |
Okay, I have decided to write another one of these, and perhaps branch out a little into other sorts of music so that it appeals to a wider variety of people. I do not wish to debate whether Ulver and Crass are underground, it’s no more than a title. Sutcliffe Jügend – When Pornography Is No Longer Enough [1998] Originally formed as a side project to power electronics masters Whitehouse in 1981, Sutcliffe Jügend intended to be even more sonically extreme than their main project (which, if you’ve ever heard Whitehouse, is pretty hard). However, despite their We Spit On Their Graves series being held as a masterpiece by many, it took them until 1998 to release a true classic; this album.… more
File hosting services: guidelines and comparative merits
| July 11, 2011 | Posted by Joe Towse under reviews, technology |
Although internet filehosts have got something of a bad image, through people using their services for illegal means (i.e. downloading), they are useful for many other purposes. That said, I will remind you all about the golden trinity of downloading: false information and email accounts; proxies; avoid downloading new releases of anything. However, some filehosts are certainly better than others. Here are my thoughts on the main ones (this is presuming a free user who is not using a DDL or a premium link generator): Megaupload This is my personal favourite host. Although this free service requires some waiting time before downloads will start, its free ‘Mega Manager’ program includes a download accelerator – one of the few free hosts which allows… more
Boxing and consent
| July 3, 2011 | Posted by Joe Towse under lifestyle, sport |
Since when has getting one’s jollies from seeing two human beings attempting to savage each other been acceptable? In case that opening sentence didn’t proffer enough information to guess what this is going to be about, I logged onto Facebook this morning, and all I saw was “David Haye this”; “David Haye that”; “what a shame he lost the fight”; “no it’s not, he’s a c**t”. The last two of those are quotes. In our modern civilisation, do we really need to fight? Is it appropriate that we do so? Although certain Darwinian principles may have existed in the past, meaning that at times it was necessary for human beings to lock into combat with one another, both for their… more
Why super-injunctions are not, in fact, super
| May 24, 2011 | Posted by Joe Towse under culture, national |
There is currently a very real chance of Twitter and several of its users coming under legal attack for the publication of details which broke super-injunctions. This is yet another step on the way to regulation of the internet, which, as I said in my post on copyright law, stifles creativity and ultimately hampers the ability of the individual to ‘make it’ using their creativity. However, that’s not what I’m writing to complain about. Especially in the light of allegations regarding Chris Huhne and some certain hidden driving points, I feel that the time has come to abolish the awarding of injunctions of any sort. To me, the idea that a higher social status, and thus the ability to hide… more
