Category: satire
Five reasons we should be glad Pokémon don’t exist
| July 18, 2012 | Posted by Tom Astwood under satire |
I understand the title may be distressing or offensive to many readers, but I’m afraid I must insist. If you can’t tell, I’m a fan-boy down to the core. I’ve always played Pokémon, and not on any time scale either – just for as long as I can remember. I digress, however – the world of Pokémon maintains some seriously worrying themes. Here’s my top five: Lack of proper government or police force Now I get I might be reading into this too much but on a recent play-through of Pokémon White I noticed something very worrying. Gym leaders are the government: all of it. Each town has its own little gym in which the strongest trainer resides, a worrying sentiment… more
Abort, Retry, Fail? 1-4: Preparation
| July 11, 2012 | Posted by S.A.Perkins under ARF? |
New panel layout and speech bubbles! Although I needed to resize into a much larger image. This means that you can see all the little errors I made with the colouring and all that, but I’m far too lazy to change that now, so I’ll just have to do better next time. I hope everyone approves of the changes. more
Five reasons I’m disappointed in you
| July 10, 2012 | Posted by Tom Astwood under satire |
So 2015 is rapidly approaching and, contrary to popular belief (or what Apple might tell us), we are no longer “five years ahead of our time” – Back To The Future Part II would have us in flying cars by this point, with shoes that tie themselves and bright pink hoverboards before October. Where is our mechanised war armour? Our fluorescent means of transport that are quite clearly the least energy efficient idea possible? Here is a list of the five inventions that don’t yet exist in a working format. Some are on their way but it could be decades, some look like they just need heavy refinement. Others look like they aren’t coming at all. The jetpack (what do you… more
Abort, Retry, Fail? 1-3: Blackmail
| July 4, 2012 | Posted by S.A.Perkins under ARF? |
Fran makes a reappearance here, but I am aware two members of the cast still have been omitted since the start of the story. I shall rectify that soon. Apologies for the small text, but it was the only way to fit all of it in! I’m going to have to find a new way of doing these comics. Bigger panels, maybe, stretched into rows rather than the three-by-two grid I have here. more
Abort, Retry, Fail? 1-2: You saw nothing
| June 27, 2012 | Posted by S.A.Perkins under ARF? |
I apologise to my friend Sam, who had to take the hit and be the guest character in this comic. I hope I did him well enough not to get joked at, but something tells me that’s going to happen anyway. Aside from which, the promise to do consistent comics has held true, and the story continues! I’m not sure if power of deniability is actually a legal term, but I wish it was. more
Bartering with God
| June 26, 2012 | Posted by Rosie Watterson under entertainment, satire |
I watch far too much television. Proven fact. Although it may seem obvious to an outsider, it only struck me yesterday while procrastinating to avoid my biology revision. I was thinking: “You know what? Television, it’s kind of like life.” And this sent me onto a long tangent, as the similarities seemed to line-up and pair-off in my head (sort of like DNA replication, really), until I concluded that talented individuals are like adverts. There are many adverts that piss me off: gocompare.com, moonpig.com, that underdog one with the silhouette that looks nothing like a dog, and the list goes on. These adverts seem to be on the television for an interminable length of time, almost to the point that I’m… more
Dawdlers
| June 22, 2012 | Posted by Arthur Ripley under satire |
I suppose that with this being my first ever article for The Student Review I had better explain that my credentials for the role of student writer are probably sub-par. First and foremost because I’m not a student. But before the pitchforks come out and I’m chased down the road with my trousers round my ankles – metaphorically speaking of course – while I may not be a full time student I do attend college once a week for six months a year , so I’m off the hook right? The rest of the time you will find me counting beans at an accountancy firm. Other professions are available. While all you full time students are all still in bed then,… more
How the internet differs from real life
| June 21, 2012 | Posted by Joe Towse under satire |
Aside from the difference that one is on a computer and full of spam and the other is on Blackpool Pier and full of spam, which hopefully the reader noticed, there are several important differences between the internet and real life that one could do to know before venturing outside their hovel into the sun. In other words, this is a guide to surviving in the real world for internet trolls: Tell it until it’s funny There’s a small phenomenon on the internet called the meme. Now, I’m not sure if I’m alone in believing this (in fact I’m sure that I am far from the only one), but if a joke wasn’t funny the first time, it’s probably not going to be… more
Abort, Retry, Fail? 1-1: Freedom
| June 20, 2012 | Posted by S.A.Perkins under ARF? |
This comic is actually true: I did have exams, hence I missed a fair few slots. Not that anyone’s bothered – except maybe the editors, but who counts them? – but I do have a legitimate reason. I’m going to try my best to fit to a regular schedule now, touch wood, seeing as I’m staying at home over the summer with no job or university to keep me busy. We’ll see if I actually bother to live up to that promise. Also, remember to check out my I Am Error article this week on Dragon’s Dogma. I would have drawn a comic about it, but after failing to draw a dragon for the dozenth time I just gave up. more
The five coffee shop customers I cannot stand
| June 14, 2012 | Posted by Shanti Das under satire |
After working in a coffee shop connected to one of the most popular department stores in the UK, I have come to the conclusion that people can be annoying. In fact, the level of anger that is occasionally instilled in me by the endless complaining, ranting and moaning of customers seems of too great a magnitude to warrant description by an emotion as tame as annoyance. But it’s not only the whingers that wind me up: from the pretentious to the posh, those who stare to those who ignore and the ones who request the most ridiculous things, it apparently doesn’t take much to irritate me in a work environment. Usually I can hold my tongue, plaster on a smile, and thank… more
